You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
