atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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