he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was CRYING into my vagina
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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