Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
vagina is talking i cant
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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