Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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