when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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