And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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