We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think your dad took our porno
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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