oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize