if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
