Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sponge bath it is.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
