guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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