meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
God, I missed his penis.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
