We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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