Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
