WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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