I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
