It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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