You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
