that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
