So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
