dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
