looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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