We named our party play list daddy issues
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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