He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize