I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
