Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
