If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
