just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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