my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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