You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
