I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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