Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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