He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
