dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
