I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize