I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
