i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have feelings that need drinking.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
