i just google imaged poop.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
