I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
