somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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