Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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