No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
