Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
