pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it hurts more in the daytime
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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