Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
