Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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