Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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