then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
