this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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