i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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