Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
