Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
