Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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