I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
