Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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